the pulse of men & women

The sense I get when I read the first chapters of Genesis - where the world and humanity, unfolds in the Creator's hands is that we, male and female are lovingly and tenderly made. Our action and intention perpetuated by the breath of God, pulsating with purpose to move and to think and to speak - to tend and to help. God made, him and her, human, in Him - in His image.

Tonight's spooky incident was the apex of a train of thinking I've been on lately.

While I walking home alone in the dark this evening, some guy ran at me - his face masked with paint, and scared the crap out of me. He used words to intimidate me, and I was alone. His friends got a laugh, and I cried - in the wake of the misapplication of human influence.
I felt similarly a few weeks ago, when I held the bleeding face of a man who had just been mugged - beaten with a rock in the face until he let go of his laptop. Brother broken on pavement, for a piece of plastic that will be obsolete in a matter of years or months.

How we can so easily make priorities out of `things, and miss the 'apple of Christ's' eye in the meantime.
How simply we can act upon our propensity to deny God's image in the people beside us.
How easily we can rape.

You know, sometimes I think I should just buck up and trust less. Laying bricks of fear and bitterness feels safer, definitely easier than vulnerability. It is less emotional than rending the soul before God in brokenheaertedness over sin and pain.

But it`s a lie to merit myself alone above creeps in dark streets - to judge for myself alone, another adequate or inadequate of Christ`s unmerrited compassion and grace through, the betterness of what I do with my time or days.

Without God, I`m not far off being a creep in a dark corner, really - from using the intent of my pulse for my own ends, to wield my influence in pride, insecurity, lust or anger. Maybe somethings don`t seem immediately negative or innately wrong, but over time they impact the heart - and change the rhythym.

In the Creation story, we're given a pulse, human impulse and influence - things we do every day: naming - using language, defining, refining, proposing, sharing, describing; and tending: to work, to school, to children, to relationships, to gardens, to our hair, to our dishes and vacuuming. We`ve all got that common rhythm, that intent to process and do - to eat and to live.


In relationship with God, naming is full and good - a work of shaping and affirmation of `being` that He has created. Tending with Him through Jesus Christ, is a work of justice that flows from value beginning with Him.

Daddo

Lately, he's been "Daddo",

with a grin and wink that shows my cocky young adult spirit.

He's gone through many transformations

this hero-man, who's just a man

in the 24 years I've been his.

And he wishes, all his...

That's the thing about daughters and dads

there's all heart found-up, all tied-up in the growing up and going.

And he swells with pride to the limits of himself -

and gets frustrated.

But I'm not.

Because, he does - get all me. The Daddo-girl that needs help figuring out how to replace my taillight and change the oil in my car, or financial advice, or a few flowers sent to say I'm cherished. He's the one with the words to soothe a pre-interview worry with a dose of sideline-cheerer dad, and a tendered heart with a dose of if-you-liked-it-then-you-shoulda-put-a-ring-on-it dad. And he makes me laugh.

Maybe because I got his sense of humour.

He's the one to hear all of daughter-me, as hilarious and arduous I'm sure it sometimes is.

He works too long, on too many things. Doesn't sit in the sun enough. And we're still working on the shorts, black socks and shoes thing, and his cookie-monster habits.

But he's Dad; Daddo for now.

and his girl loves him.

future floods & now.

the future.
is always that.
you can plan, you can prepare.

what you get in the end is, now.
Kingdom here.
today's work, worry, love, soup, bad-hair-day, good-hair-day, heartache, happiness - rain or shine.

sometimes, no matter how you prepare - the future is different than the forecast.
sometimes you are dead on, and you swell with the pride of all the Scouts gone before at your preparedness.

But none of this changes this Truth: that what you have is present, what you have is now, what you have is from Him: the Good and Gracious and Mighty, who is here, who holds all together - as futures flood into nows.