Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Wide-open possibility

Last night, I was challenged. What would I do when I came up against things I found difficult to be thankful for? Being thankful and being happy do not always coincide – I could see the challenge mounting: gratitude is a discipline.
I will admit that possibility is something that I have been struggling with being thankful for. I’m a bit of a dreamer, and that can throw me miles ahead into ‘what ifs?’ and ‘hows?’ Sometimes I worry that I wont make much of all that He has given me – a wonderful career, education, a beautiful family, lovely friends. All this, I naturally manage by analyzing and making plans because I want to live my life well for Him. That’s kind of been my standard of Christian life up until this point – clamp down for Him.

You can see I'm missing the fundamental piece (peace) of the gospel:

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not
submit again to a yoke of slavery.
~ Galatians 5:1

In the midst of wide-openness, I’ve been feeling pretty raw. You’d think a person would be glad about unlimited possibility of living for God, eh? Well, I confess to you, I am asking God every day to give me a heart of thanks for His possibility. I want one; I’m just not there in fullness yet.
He tucks me under His arm, and shows me wonders, and my little heart is overwhelmed by His beauties.
Sometimes, I just have to close my eyes and let my heart settle, I just have no words. And all I can do is snuggle up closer to Him, centered again.

This is a good time.

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